A. Is It Bullying?
1. Bullying is an act of aggression in the form of physical violence, looks, gestures, actions, threats, (IM) messages, remarks, rumors, drugs, harassment, and/or social exclusion.
2. Bullying is a behavior that is repeated, is intentional, and has an imbalance of power.
• Don't minimize the pain.
• Listen carefully to your child.
• Reinforce your love for your child.
• Discuss the lack of respect bullies have for others.
• Think of some quick, humorous responses your child could use.
• Do some role-playing to practice responses.
• Step in and talk to school authorities.
*Tips summarized from the State of Michigan website: www.michigan.gov (Article: Being Teased)
B. What Can I Do When Bullied?
1. Stay calm, don't become a "MESS", or mad, embarrassed, sad or scared.
• 2. DIAL up Courage: • Distract by changing the subject. • Ignore the bully's remarks. • Agree with the bully with a "so what" attitude.
• Laugh with the bully and then walk away. • Stay away from the bully. • Use a Comeback if not in a small space (It can help equal the power).
3. Write down the 5 W's
a. Who did the bullying?
b. What happened?
c. When did the bullying start and how long has this been happening?
d. Where did it take place?
e. Were there any witnesses?
4. Report it:
• Immediately... If you were physically hurt.
• Immediately...If the verbal attack has happened before.
If you were not hurt and if this is the first time it happened, just record the 5 w's. Then, if it happens again, report it.
C. Should I Report It?
The difference between "reporting" and "ratting."
Reporting: Reporting is when someone is trying to stop or prevent someone (or self) from getting hurt. • A crime that is or will be committed.
Ratting: Ratting is when someone is not being physically or emotionally hurt but someone is trying to get someone else in trouble, have someone else solve a problem that they can solve, or get their own way in a situation.
D. Report Bullying To: School Admistration, teachers, yard duty aides, office staff.
Victim Comebacks… What you can say if you are teased or bullied. (It's helpful to role-play beforehand.)
That's bad,You need to chill, Clever, Fine: what ever, Yeah right, Thanks, Boring, That's getting old, Delete, That would be a "NO", YOU said that to me? I would never stay THAT to anyone, Not quite, Ooo harsh, I don't think so, No way, Sorry you feel that way, Nice, but I don't think so, Your point is???, Thanks for sharing, Weak: give it up, Should I cry now, Nice try, If the he/she is supposed to be a friend: I would never say anything like that about you, why would you about me?, Get a life.
Witness Shutdown… What to say to defuse the situation.
1. During the attack, bystanders can help change the power by saying a shutdown to the bully. Doing nothing gives acceptance to the situation.Laughing, smiling makes the bully more powerful.
Sample witness shutdowns are:
That's getting old, Annoying, That's weak, Enough, Lame, You need to chill, That makes you looks bad, That's just wrong, Knock it off, Quit it, Relax, Cut it out, That's mean, Back off, Boring, Out of line, Harsh, That's not cool/
2. After the attack, Record the 5 W's and tell an adult.
Comfort the victim: "Are you alright? I can't believe he/she said that to you! That's terrible."